change

i keep telling myself that it's only weird when things stay the same.

really, change is the rule, not the exception.

so why does it feel like someone spun me around after drinking too much champagne on new years and then sent me in the opposite direction of home?

why is change, something that happens every day, sending me into loops and twirls?

and why won't my new life feel real until i'm there, in the middle of a new street on a new day and i realize that everything that was real the week before is now my past and isn't part of my day to day life anymore?

i'll write about it - letters to myself in long scribbles on clean pages of my journal - and i'll have all these feelings of loss for my old life - the one in arizona - and excitement for my new life in washington dc.

and the scariest part will come when the change is no longer a change, but normal.

and usually, that's the point when i screw my eyes shut, jump over a cliff into a new horizon, and wait to see where i land.

unrelated

Carbon Leaf's new album Loss Love Hope Repeat has the most awesome-ist bitchin' song - "Learn To Fly".

I must have it.

I also must have Pete Yorn's new CD. Like now. Like I'm going to buy it this week. Like I will feel all-empty-inside-wanting-to-crawl-into-a-corner-in-a-fetal-position-and-I-may-just-die-before-I-get-it-like-for-real-die-not-just-saying-that-because-I'm-all-melodramatic-ok-so-I-am-melodramatic-but-you-people-know-I-can-get-that-way-because-I'm-neurotic-and-don't-judge-me-'cause-you-want-shit-too-so-let-me-jones-for-Carbon-Leaf-and-Pete-Yorn-and-just-shut-up until I get it.

And so what if I will also probably by G.Love's Lemonade. If you heard "Hot Cookin'" you'd buy it too.

Just saying.

Everything must go!

It's official. We are moving to Washington DC. Well, at least northern Virginia.

We're packing the boxes and donating half the house contents. We definitely have too much crap.

And, for the first time I can remember in my life I can fit all my clothes into one closet.

But don't even think that I'm getting rid of all my shoes and purses.

Savages.

Argh me maties - and a happy birthday!

Today is National Talk Like A Pirate Day. But, even more importantly, it's Jodi's birthday.

Jodi and I have been friends for over 15 years. We've fought like crazy. We've been the best of friends. We've hated each other. We've done nutty things together and laughed over everything and nothing. There have been times we haven't been on speaking terms (most recently due to me). But there is not one day that I don't thank my lucky stars to have a true friend in someone as fabulous as she. She is one of the wittiest people I've ever met in my life. And I couldn't think of anyone better to share her special day with something as awesome as National Talk Like A Pirate Day! YEA!

And for that, I say "Avast me hearties! Raise your grog and raid the bung hole for celebration victuals! It's Wench Jodi's birthday! Toast the beauty and wish her Ahoy and a happy day!"

Week in Exclusive Detox Resort!

Your host Roxy would like to let you know that she is currently not posting to her blog due to her extended detoxification and "All About Roxy" stay at an exclusive, trendy resort with sweeping mountain views, and a gorgeous private suite. She's very busy with her numerous facials, massages, and occasional drug binges.

Ok...

Actually...

Replace "detoxification" with "no food or liquid, just IV's"
Replace "All About Roxy" with "doctors and nurses poking at Roxy"
Replace "exclusive, trendy resort" with "hospital"
Replace "gorgeous private suite" with "not bad private hospital room"
Replace "numerous facials" with "numerous tests"
Replace "massages" with "needle pricks"
Replace "occasional drug binges" with "morphine drip"

The morphine drip is the best part...hopefully I'll be out before another week passes.

naked wrestling with ranch beans and vibrators

To prep for my flight on Thursday, I've shaved all hair from my body, plucked the strays and have been doing 1000 ab-crunches a day just in case the FAA makes me strip naked to pass through the metal detector. Oh, and since I recently lost 25 pounds, I'm not too worried.

I've packed all liquid in double ziploc bags in my suitcase and thrown out the citrus fertilizer I was going to bring to my mom for her mini-lemon tree. Not quite sure how I'm going to explain the Macayo's Enchilada Sauce and the Ranch Beans that I've carefully packed between skivvies and my interview suit. Hopefully they won't mistake the Rabbit Pearl as a detonator. I'm carrying my ID and a boarding pass to get on the flight. Should I even bother to wear shoes?

By the way, while we are consumed with this mock terror, there are more terrible things happening in the world. If we only focus on the shiny objects in the media, perhaps we can forget the information below:

Thought of the day:
We are spending $8 billion a month in Iraq. That's $2 billion each week, $267 million each day, or $11 million each hour. For what we spend in three weeks, we could make needed improvements in order to properly secure our public transportation systems. For what we spend in five days, we could put radiation detectors in all of our ports. And for two days in Iraq, we could screen all air cargo."

The Devil is in the Details

Recently, the Phoenix Business Journal used this title in an article about ASU moving into their new downtown space. I think it is more apropos to use it to address some of the details of our current administration and what I’ve been hearing in the news over the past week.

One thing every journalist knows is details make for a better story. The story of a meth-lab bust in the West Valley is always more interesting when details are given about affected children, the quiet neighborhood streets, the seemingly normal drug dealers. Details make us empathize and when pieced together, show us the big picture.

If this is the case, however, why is it that our government has only been focusing on the details of "terror" instead of society's big picture? The war in Iraq has diverted attention from protecting America from terrorism. This past week 9/11 commissioners said Iraq is distracting from security at home.

This past week, we've learned more about a large-scale terrorist plot to attack the United States. And what is the response from our administration? Political attacks against Democrats - against Americans in our own country.

A prime example is Dick Cheney's response to Ned Lamont's victory in Connecticut. To say that Connecticut voters were supporting Al Qaeda by voting for Lamont is something I expect a terrorist to say - not the Vice President of the United States. Since when is voting for someone who believes differently an act of terrorism?

In the same speech that President Bush said, "Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists" he also said we have "...our freedom of religion, our freedom of speech, our freedom to vote and assemble and disagree with each other."

And so it goes. We gather around exploited details and blanket statements so often that we lose sight of the big picture.

Five years after 9/11, the Bush administration has failed to keep us safe. The Republican Congress hasn't followed through on the recommendations of the 9/11 Commission. The war in Iraq has inflamed the whole Middle East and is helping Al Qaeda attract new recruits. Osama bin Laden is still on the loose.

The big picture shows us that we are not safe - that we probably never will be again. But we must stop reacting to the little details and focus on the big picture. Given our current administration over the past few years, I think the big picture should involve less blaming of Democrats and more working together toward the common goal of security and freedom.

We should all take responsibility for finding out all the information we can - to process the details as part of the big picture. To not resort to partisanship and political jabs. To assess people on track record and a strong vision for the future.

That is how I intend to make my decisions when I vote this fall. By looking at the details and how they influence our society as a whole. Not by listening to the blatant politicized terror threats I've been hearing throughout the past week.

Does that make me a terrorist too?

fear, terror, evil-doers, freedom, blah, blah, blah, and other such words in our great Wag The Dog marketing campaign

finally, someone points out that our obsession with the little things takes away focus from the big things. which, in my opinion, is what is wrong with most people today. if we weren't blowing the small stuff out of proportion, the big picture could be addressed.

read this great article.

a snippet:

"US NOW: BE AFRAID!! Oh God, the Brown Bad people could strike any moment! They could strike ... NOW!! AHHHH. Okay, how about .. NOW!! AAGAGAHAHAHHAG! Quick, do whatever we tell you, and believe whatever we tell you, or YOU WILL BE KILLED BY BROWN PEOPLE!! PUT DOWN THAT SIPPY CUP!!"

For them, it's us

On my way to work this morning, NPR was covering the UN cease-fire plan and the withdrawal of Israeli troops from south Lebanon. I started thinking about Hezbollah.

How are these people acceptable in society? I thought to myself. I felt myself getting angry, turning nationalist. Why are they allowed to do this? Why doesn't someone do something?

And the voices grew louder in my head.

Someone should round them up and kill them.

This thought - this toxic thought - swirled in my brain drowning the soft, internal voice that asked why should any kind of killing be sanctioned? and failed to remind me that I don't believe in killing or war as an answer to a problem.

And I thought of the innocents that are affected by this fighting until everything in me was screaming KILL THE BAD MEN!

And I paused as the realization washed over me...

This is what the innocent Iraqis think about the American soldiers who are abusing their positions. This is what the Muslims in this nation are experiencing when other Americans are attacking them for their beliefs.

This is how Americans are seen throughout the world.

And, sadly, with good reason.

the first postcard is up

here

go here if you don't know what i'm talking about.