Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Singin' like the GoGo's

Vacation's all I ever wanted - Vacation have to get away...

Perhaps I'll have tales of grand adventure upon my return next week. Perhaps I'll just be bitching about airline food.

Tune in next week to see if Roxy and Hubby enjoyed their vacation. Smoochies to my loyal readers - all 2 of you. If you really get bored - go back and read some of my more interesting posts: here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. Pretty conceited to link to myself.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Greg's Meme-like post

From Greg, I give you Spin's Top 100 albums. The ones in bold are the ones I own.
How many do you have?

1. Radiohead - OK Computer (1997).
2. Public Enemy - It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back (1988).
3. Nirvana - Nevermind (1991).
4. Pavement - Slanted and Enchanted (1992).
5. The Smiths - The Queen is Dead (1986).
6. Pixies - Surfer Rosa (1988).
7. De La Soul - 3 Feet High and Rising (1989).
8. Prince - Sign O' the Times (1987).
9. PJ Harvey - Rid of Me (1993).
10. N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton (1988).
11. U2 - Achtung Baby (1991).
12. Beastie Boys - Paul's Boutique (1989).
13. Hüsker Dü - New Day Rising (1985).
14. Sonic Youth - Daydream Nation (1988).
15. Liz Phair - Exile in Guyville (1993).
16. Beck - Odelay (1996).
17. Nas - Illmatic (1994).
18. Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction (1987).
19. Hole - Live Through This (1994).
20. Wu-Tang Clan - Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers) (1993).
21. Public Enemy - Fear of a Black Planet (1990).
22. My Bloody Valentine - Loveless (1991).
23. Outkast - Stankonia (2000).
24. Sleater-Kinney - Dig Me Out (1997).
25. Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral (1994).
26. Björk - Post (1995).
27. The Cure - The Head on the Door (1985).
28. Oasis - Definitely Maybe (1994).
29. Fugazi - 13 Songs (1989).
30. The Notorious B.I.G. - Ready to Die (1994).
31. Dinosaur Jr. - You're Living All Over Me (1987).
32. The Replacements - Tim (1985).
33. Ice Cube - AmeriKKKa's Most Wanted (1990).
34. Elliot Smith - Either/Or (1997).
35. Dr. Dre - The Chronic (1992).
36. Pixies - Doolittle (1989).
37. Guided By Voices - Bee Thousand (1994).
38. A Tribe Called Quest - The Low End Theory (1991).
39. Lucinda Williams - Lucinda Williams (1988).
40. Run-D.M.C. - Raising Hell (1986).
41. Smashing Pumpkins - Siamese Dream (1993).
42. Jane's Addiction - Nothing's Shocking (1988). I always meant to buy this.
43. Boogie Down Productions - Criminal Minded (1987).
44. Green Day - Dookie (1994).
45. Kanye West - College Dropout (2004).
46. The Fall - The Nation's Saving Grace (1985).
47. Eric B. & Rakim - Paid in Full (1987).
48. Radiohead - Kid A (2000).
49. Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill (1998).
50. New Order - Low-Life (1985).
51. Nirvana - In Utero (1993).
52. Beastie Boys - Licensed to Ill (1986).
53. Rage Against the Machine - The Battle of Los Angeles (1999).
54. The Breeders - Last Splash (1993).
55. The Chemical Brothers - Dig Your Own Hole (1997).
56. PJ Harvey - To Bring You My Love (1995).
57. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells (2001).
58. Metallica - Master of Puppets (1986).
59. Modest Mouse - The Lonesome Crowded West (1997).
60. De La Soul - De La Soul is Dead (1991).
61. Weezer - Pinkerton (1996).
62. Missy Elliott - Supa Dupa Fly (1997).
63. Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain (1994).
64. Eminem - The Marshall Mathers LP (2000).
65. Basement Jaxx - Remedy (1999).
66. Outkast - Aquemini (1998).
67. Slayer - Reign in Blood (1986).
68. Tricky - Maxiquaye (1995).
69. DJ Shadow - Entroducing DJ Shadow (1996).
70. Jay-Z - The Blueprint (2001).
71. The Jesus and Mary Chain - Psychocandy (1985).
72. Raekwon - Only Built 4 Cuban Linx (1995).
73. Pulp - Different Class (1995).
74. Portishead - Dummy (1994).
75. Le Tigre - Le Tigre (1999).
76. Belle and Sebastian - If You're Feeling Sinister (1997).
77. Wilco - Yankee Hotel Foxtrot (2002).
78. The Stone Roses - The Stone Roses (1989).
79. Moby - Everything is Wrong (1995).
80. D'Angelo - Voodoo (2000).
81. Beck - Mellow Gold (1994).
82. Jeff Buckley - Grace (1994).
83. At the Drive-In - Relationship of Command (2000).
84. Soundgarden - Superunknown (1994).
85. R.E.M. - Automatic for the People (1992).
86. Meat Puppets - Up on the Sun (1985).

87. Blur - Parklife (1994).
88. Stereolab - Emperor Tomato Ketchup (1996).
89. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Fever to Tell (2003).
90. Sonic Youth - Sister (1987).
91. XTC - Skylarking (1986).
92. Big Black - Atomizer (1986).
93. Pearl Jam - Ten (1991).
94. Slint - Spiderland (1991).
95. Elastica - Elastica (1995).
96. The Pogues - Rum, Sodomy and the Lash (1985).
97. Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea (1998).
98. Cornershop - When I Was Born for the 7th Time (1997).
99. Afghan Whigs - Gentlemen (1993).
100. The Strokes - This is It (2001).

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Because I'm petty and can't help myself

I must link to personal ads for women in prison.

Go to this site. Browse some of the ladies in waiting. Do they think they are in a castle, locked in a tower? News honey, YOU'RE IN PRISON. Even if your knight strides up to the gate bearing chocolate and some iron cutters, the guard ain't gonna let you out.

At least the men who are writing to these women know that there is very little competition for their chosen lady's affections. Unless you count the babe named Harley in Cell Block D...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Roadside Observation #4

Every workday morning, I drive eastbound on Olive Avenue. I see the typical sites - houses, fields, street signs and chain establishments squished together in sparkling new strip malls. I am privy to a special sight however. A man - he must be well into his 70's - jogs westbound.

I raise my hand and smile to his perpetual wave...his nod to those who share his road. He's a slow streak of blue-gym-short-and-white-sweatband truth.

He is my daily inspiration to do more.

Monday, July 11, 2005

What you do at 3:42 and you can't sleep

You post the second part of The Dating Remi! Yeaaaaa!

When we left off, Remi was having a chaperoned dessert...

Try being pleasant with a boy who is 8 years your junior while you're eating dinner with his mom and step dad, having only known the boy for less than 48 hours!

I am attempting to be an adult...but not too adult because I don’t want to seem too mature for the mom’s lil baby. By this time I actually think the boy is ok.

I am intrigued by the step father. He has a few…uh…problems?

1. He can’t hear so he practically yells at you when speaking
2. He is never wrong and knows everything and
3. If you don’t finish what’s on your plate he will.

Yes that’s right.

Derek didn’t finish his salad so his step dad did. Derek didn’t eat the tomatoes from his sandwich so his step dad did. Derek’s mom didn’t finish her garlic bread - yep his step dad did.

Quite the smorgasbord of food so far right? Now I'm thinking, what better way to top it all off than with dessert? I order a slice of apple pie a-la-mode I only finish about ½ of it. What do you think happened to the rest of my pie?

He didn’t even ask if I was done. He just assumed. By this time I’m about to pee myself as I try not to laugh too loudly.

Yet I still go to the boy’s place to watch yet another movie - actually it was Dane Cook’s comedy central special. I pull a 10 step maneuver to get into cuddle position as he is hinting. I moved in small “scooches” to see how long it would take - it became a game in my own head. Anyway the end of the evening comes...he walks me to my car. Anticipation....

First the overly long hug...and then the kiss.

The kiss.

He puckered, leaned in, our lips touched. His lips never un-puckered! His head never moved! I was locked in position by his hand behind my head. I swear I must have counted to 10 before the seal was broken.

He text messages me the next day asking me if I enjoyed the kiss. Oh my frickin' stars in heaven -- what do you say to that? It has now been 2 days since and I still have yet to answer his kiss question directly. I am already in deep and its been less than a week. Oh god...oh god...oh god...

Editor's note: What Remi fails to tell you in this part deux, is that she has been to the parents house. It is - in her words - a shrine to Mickey Mouse. You've never seen so many Mickey tchochkes. However, there is no Mickey Mouse inspired food items at the parents house...I'll give you two guesses as to who ate them.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

The Dating Remi

My slightly neurotic (and completely insane) friend sends me a text message asking me if I would be interested in a set up. One of the voices inside my head screamed "NOOOOOO..." as loudly as possible and subsequently ran out of breath, allowing one of the other voices to quietly chant "go for it." Oh holy hell. I had text messaged back “sure, why not?” before I came to my senses.

I stopped to breathe, catch my breath, and bang my head on the closest wall. Once I recovered I got to thinking. Maybe this won’t be so bad. I mean, just because my last and only other “blind date” nearly sank our pedal boat in the middle of the murky skunk smelling lake/pond doesn't mean it will happen again. Nothing could be as bad as that right? I started to think it might even be fun.

The next day, my neurotic/insane friend came over to clean up Bettina's bathroom as she had a night of not-so-quiet "getting to know you" sessions in it. This “friend” calls the blind date boy from my cell phone and then hands me the phone. I was forced to be pleasant. I was forced to act interested...and I was good. That’s right, I was so good in fact that the boy felt the need to text message me endlessly for the remainder of the afternoon. I agree to go see the fireworks with the boy that very night. Again the voice in my head reasoned that fireworks are good on a first date.

I meet the boy, aka Derek, across from the sports complex. I didn’t feel the urge to run and vomit. This was a good sign. However, I confirmed it. He is indeed a boy! I am 30, he is 22. He was born in the same decade as my friend's 15-yr-old daughter!!

Under normal circumstances, I would have turned tail and ran, but I am slightly intrigued. Roxy, my best friend who hosts this blog, is my age and just recently married a 22-yr-old man-boy. There may be hope.

The fireworks are uneventful but not bad. Nice conversation the whole time. Afterward, we watched a movie…again somewhat uneventful so I went home.

The next day the boy is texting me again…ALL day. We decide in one of the 20 million texts that we will go out again that night. I leave work, call him and he informs me he will call back. I wait but continue with my normal daily routine which includes dinner at dinner time. He of course calls back as I’m eating to invite me to dinner. Hell - I wasn’t about to wait pending a possible call from him. I agree to meet him for dessert.

Let me clarify this statement - dessert at the Village Inn…

Oh wait...let me clarify again - dessert at the Village Inn with his parents.

Holy balls I frantically call Roxy, rant, and explain the situation which was received with gut splitting laughter. I had to hang up.

What happens at dessert? Tune in tomorrow for another episode of The Dating Remi when the real fun begins!

Editors comment: I probably wouldn't have laughed so hard at the fact that Remi was meeting this boy's parents on the second date except for the fact that my dear friend Remi gave me nothing but CRAP for dating (and subsequently marrying) a 22-year-old. She also gave me crap about his overprotective parents. All I have to say is paybacks are a bitch...

Friday, July 08, 2005

Guest Author: Remi

(In a voice like Kermit the Frog from the Muppet Show): Please welcome to the stage (er...blog in this case) our special guest author: Remi! Yeaaaaaaaaaaa!

Remi, my best friend of 26 years, recently had a blind date (oooooo, aaahhhh). Since this blog started with my blind date story, I thought it would be fun to feature another one right here at Roxy's World.

Remi's story will appear in installment form on this blog over the next few days. Please stay tuned and feel free to comment.

Thursday, July 07, 2005


Never did I expect to see Amy and I as men...

Amy and Roxanne - Trailer Crashers

All hail Jeremy, man of many talents, for putting this together.

My dear friend - were you drunk when you thought of this or bored at work? You have outdone yourself with this one.

About Me

Stupidly self-centered for over 3 decades!