change

i keep telling myself that it's only weird when things stay the same.

really, change is the rule, not the exception.

so why does it feel like someone spun me around after drinking too much champagne on new years and then sent me in the opposite direction of home?

why is change, something that happens every day, sending me into loops and twirls?

and why won't my new life feel real until i'm there, in the middle of a new street on a new day and i realize that everything that was real the week before is now my past and isn't part of my day to day life anymore?

i'll write about it - letters to myself in long scribbles on clean pages of my journal - and i'll have all these feelings of loss for my old life - the one in arizona - and excitement for my new life in washington dc.

and the scariest part will come when the change is no longer a change, but normal.

and usually, that's the point when i screw my eyes shut, jump over a cliff into a new horizon, and wait to see where i land.