Friday, October 06, 2006

Little Life Lesson #1

Never start a brand new job on a Monday.

It may be a bitch for payroll, but it's not about them.

It's about the fact that by Day 3 you'll be gagging on the new names you have to pronounce, cursing the 2 story blisters popping up like new condo complexes on each of your heels (caused largely because you get lost every damn time you go pee), and I guaran-fuckin'-tee you that you'll have a strong desire to suck down 12 martinis while belting out "More Than This" in some backwoods dive bar named Lou's where the "L" is burned out on the neon sign but people show up for cheap beer, cheap women and cheap cigarettes from the prehistoric pull-knob machine in back by the pay phone.

And really, if that is Day 3, wouldn't you rather start your new job on a Wednesday so that Friday night you can pass out under a bar stool in a pool of your own drool?

No comments:

About Me

Stupidly self-centered for over 3 decades!