epiphany

I'm finding it increasingly alarming that I do not want to have a place in today's mainstream workforce. I'm an intelligent individual with a varied background, a Masters degree and creative tendencies. I like to play with the team, plan and execute projects, teach classes and help those around me. I just don't want to spend the majority of my time on office politics, sweating the small stuff and doing work that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. I don't feel like I'm a valid member of society anymore.

A few years ago, I quit the corporate world to teach high school in an "at-risk" area. At times, I felt like I was wasting time there too. That I can't do enough to help. That there are so many people who need things and I could do more. We all could do more.

Why can't I spend 12 hours a day (which is what I currently spend, including my commute - 15 hours on the days I teach class) working on something that may help someone in the long run? And I mean the full 12 hours - not 30 minutes here or an hour or so there.

In a country where church, state, media, and neighbors judge morals and perceived personal values, why doesn't our society embrace cooperation, assistance and helping eachother?

And since I'm not stupid, I do know why - money and control.

And while none of this is an epiphany, the title of this post is an invitation for what I most need. I need an epiphany, a cosmic slap to the face so I can begin to carve the path for something different, something risky.

"It seems to me that people have vast potential.
Most people can do extraordinary things
if they have the confidence or take the risks.
Yet most people don't.
They sit in front of the telly and treat life as if it goes on forever."

- Phillip Adams

And I guess a little confidence wouldn't hurt either...