I Demand

I realize there are many problems in this world. Vast suffering, hopeless people, terrible fates, disease, starvation, treachery, violence, and unspeakable horrors.

Because I know this, I shouldn't bitch about the fact that Cox Cable doesn't have OnDemand service.

I'm going to anyway.

COX CABLE DOESN'T HAVE ONDEMAND SERVICE! WTF?

What? What's that you say? How is that possible?

I. haven't. a. damn. clue.

While other cable companies catapulted into the 21st century with the addition of OnDemand years ago, Cox is taking its sweet, let's-see-how-long-we-can-continue-to-screw-people-out-of-this-service time in introducing this necessity.

So you say, "Roxy, your monthly cable bill must be so much cheaper than mine because your cable company obviously and completely sucks harder than a whore on Van Buren."

To which I respond, "Au contraire! Cox has their greedy little fingers on my wad of cash AND I pay more for less than what I used to receive - just like a pimp during Sunday morning payouts."

When I asked the Cox representative if they would be getting OnDemand anytime soon, he informed me that he doesn't know anything about OnDemand - what it is, how it works, or if his company would be providing that service soon.

Again - I ask you - DOES ANYONE ON THIS PLANET HAVE A RECORDING OF THE SEASON FINALES FOR SOPRANOS AND/OR BIG LOVE THEY CAN SEND ME? I'll pay you for the damn thing.

And perhaps I can pay for it by canceling Cox.