Wednesday, May 09, 2007

North Carolina is the armpit of America

Well, aside from New Jersey that is.

I really don't mean to diss you North Carolina, but damn honey - you do not look good. Let's talk candidly about your haphazard urban planning, streets with holes the size of craters, bumpkin housing, overgrown and nasty weeds of varied and unusual size, and run down art deco shopping malls with less than three vendors. Did you know every lake and river I crossed looked like a bastardized version of Willy Wonka's chocolate river? I know you aren't churning Hershey's so what the hell is up?

Everything about you is falling apart. I just want to know how you could be so unsightly - your two jeweled sisters, South Carolina and Virginia, shine on either side of you! How is it that you are just one long consistent strip of ugly?

The time has come, North Carolina. Take a week off, get a pedi and a wax! Gussy yourself up pretty - you have the right idea with the NC Wildflower project, take it to the next level.

I expect to see you shining on my next trip down this fall.

Love,
Roxy

1 comment:

Unknown said...

These comments make since coming from someone who thinks SOUTH Carolina is a "jewel".
You obviously have limited experience in traveling the state, and a pension for ranting about things you know little about.
Name one city in Virginia or South Carolina that can compare to Raleigh or Charlotte for cleanliness, quality of life, and economy.
You can't.

About Me

Stupidly self-centered for over 3 decades!