As of late, I find myself wandering around my house in my pajamas muttering about the slow, spiritless world of suburban Surprise. I peer out my library windows and surreptiously spy on my neighbors, wondering what they are doing in their little stucco sanctuaries. Are they bored like me?
How long can I hide in my garage going through truckloads of "boxed things" that connect me to my vibrant past? Is it wrong to stand in my shower, gaze up through the skylight and wonder what would happen if a tornado struck the barren desert? Would my Solatube go before the rest of the ceiling? Would I be sucked up through the hole?
Elvis even looks bored here. His big puppy eyes roll heavenward hourly as if to say, "I can't believe we are here. Perhaps we can take another road trip and I can pee on the world's largest ball of twine once again."
Years ago, my friends predicted that I'd rack up college degrees, move to Manhattan, storm Corporate America and have some boys-as-toys to keep me occupied on weekends. How did I end up in the place where people go to reproduce and mow lawns? How come those colorful tri-fold brochures for new housing developments never feature a truthful slogan such as "Suburbia. A vortex of nothingness."
I've come to the conclusion that if I don't figure out how to liven this place up, I may have to schedule a prison break.
Anyone in?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
About Me
- Roxy
- Stupidly self-centered for over 3 decades!
2 comments:
But see, you CAN leave. You're not even 30, and your husband's not even old enough to drink, or, you know, vote. Wait until you pump out a few kids - it's much harder to pack up and move on then. We want to get out of here, but there's so much to consider. I don't know if it's necessarily "suburbia" itself or the fact that it's the Hell of Suburbia that we laughingly call the "Salt River Valley" - two of those three things being patently untrue. It's what you make it, sweetheart - take that new boy-toy you have and drag his sorry butt somewhere fun while you still can!
As always, the voice of reason Burgas.
:+)
Post a Comment