Life is so strange

I don't know quite when it happened. I was driving through life at warp speed, as usual, and a lightening bolt hit my DeLorean (read: Grand AM GT) and catapulted me into my future.

The past, aka "Destination Unknown," never looked like this.

In Destination Unknown, life was unpredictable and chaotic, but made sense nonetheless. When Molly would call to go see David Carter on Thursday nights, I knew we'd be crawling into work the next morning belching the remnants of red-headed sluts (our drink du jour). I'd have to look at pictures to remember our jaunts of the evening prior.

In Destination Unknown, I saw issues of "Wired" and "Tattoo" strewn haphazardly around the floor of my double-story, single-living shag pad. Elvis was the only steady man in my life.

Back to the Future: As I groaned out of bed this morning, on this last week of school, my toes touched perfect pink, bent-cornered glossies of "The Knot," "Brides," and "So-You've-Lost-Your-Mind-And-Decided-To-Have-A-Wedding Quarterly." The "Congratulations on Your New House!" binder rested on top of the stack as if it were an oversized cake-topper.

My sleep-crusted eyes fell the necklace that matches the ring of my intended. In this strangely beautiful future land, I am enjoying the new scenery immensely.

I am. I was.

As part of my lesson today, I had my students write based on the prompt "I am. I was." They were asked to write from their own point of view or from the point of view of someone else. Most of my students chose to write about their own lives and views. These two girls seem to be polar opposites on the outside, but are so alike in so many ways.

from my self-confident, quiet, shy and smart girl who sits in the back of my room:
I am never going to give in to what I strongly oppose. I was not always that firm in my beliefs.
I am leading the way. I was lagging behind you.
I am one to look to. I was frequently overlooked.
I am full of dreams. I was an airhead.
I am oftentimes lazy. I was and still am.
I am not going to be easily influenced. I was often let down.
I am looking forward to the future. I was dreading its coming.
I am thought of as crazy, smart, kind, beautiful and open-minded. I was NEVER thought of that way before.
I am regularly thinking of my loved ones. I was regularly thinking of myself.
I am ready for what is to come. I was usually avoiding it.
I am not afraid to admit it. I was never so courageous.
I am not afraid to love. I was afraid to get involved.
I am. I was.

from my loud, outgoing, sweet, show-stopper girl who is also quite an intellectual:
I am me. This is who I'll always be. I have strived my whole life to set myself out from the crowd. I like to think of myself not as opinionated, just always right. I don't know how my peers view me, but I try to project myself as a very optimistic and outgoing person. I choose to unleash every difference about me to the world around me. If they don't like me, then I don't like them.

"If you do not wish to be forgotten, soon as you are rotten; either write something worth reading, or do something worth writing." This is a quote by Benjamin Franklin that spoke to me when I read it at age 9. I have tried to achieve my goal of originality ever since. When I pass away, I want people to remember me as the person they could laugh with. It makes me happy to think I am actually noticed - that somebody somewhere is letting me rent space in their mind just by thinking about me.

I want people to accept me for who I am. I am 63% gay (according to thespark.com) but it's true and I don't try to hide it. My sexuality has become a part of my personality. Being gay gives me another topic on which to speak my mind. I just don't see what the big deal is and why people ridicule. It means I have options ;).

I am me. I am the most self-conscious person you will ever meet.

I was here.

My Chicken is my Be-otch

I'm very disturbed.

Go to this website www.subservientchicken.com

Is this thing for real?

If so, I really think I need therapy.

The real wedding

Kevin and I are getting married on December 11, 2004. He asked officially this afternoon at Troon North Golf Club in Scottsdale, which is where our wedding and reception will also take place.

I never thought I'd do this. I'm just glad that life still surprises me.

Update: Forget Troon. It's all about The Wigwam Resort.

KTW

I love this man.

I'm marrying this man in December.

Change of Plans

Vegas wedding cancelled, real wedding to be announced (at some point).

I know, I know. You never thought I'd really be writing this post. All those tough girl sentiments spewed forth like last night's vodka created an "I'm never getting married" persona. I confess. I was wrong.

I have found the love of my life. No, I don't have the bling-bling ring, but I'll be sure to let you know when it arrives. In the great words of James Garner, "I'm in love for the last time in my life."

Meth Labs and Bomb Threats

All the lights are on, but nobody is home. It's 1 AM and an eerie glow is climbing over our fence washing the backyard in soft pools of light. I keep expecting to see a face in their backyard, outside our window. But they are all gone.

We watched them on Channel 3 today. They were led away in handcuffs, their slate eyes showing no emotion. Their kids' toys showed traces of PCP, LSD and heroin. Two little boys compromised.

The news showed the line of assault rifles on the front lawn. Bettina and I chat about the clinking sounds we heard every night while sitting under the lemon tree. I wonder what would have happened if the Meth lab exploded.

Or if our school exploded.

The Meth lab bust in the house behind us comes riding the coat-tails of the bomb threat our school received from a deranged student this past Wednesday. He promised to "go Columbine" on us, according to one child. The police were waiting for him.

I think, someday, he will implode.

Currently out of her mind...

I'm taking a quick break from papers, curriculum and producing a school newspaper to say I've officially lost it.

My phone rang just now and I thought it was my friend Lynn from my Masters class. I had just emailed her my cell phone number and told her I wanted to chat about the presentation we have to put together for tonight's class.

I answered the phone and a Lynn-like voice asked to speak with me. My response? "I'm sorry, Michelle is not available as she has completely lost her mind and is going insane."

My IRS tax-advisor responded with, "Well, when she comes back into her mind, could you please tell her that her taxes are ready to be picked up?"

I'll let her know.

And Now, An Excerpt

With only 6 weeks left to go, I must remember the following words I wrote for an assignment for one of my Masters classes:

Good teachers don’t get their evenings, weekends and summers off. They are constantly exploring new ideas to make their curriculum more interesting. They are developing their own mind, continuing their education, and researching their subject matter. They are observing and becoming active in the community where their school is located to gain a greater understanding of their students. They are observing other teachers, school districts and leaders throughout the community in order to integrate the best ideas on how to teach and present into their own styles. They are working with each other and their administration to provide a cohesive, educational experience for the children who depend on them. And, at the core, they are listening to their students and doing everything in their power to help a child grow.

I adopt these beliefs as my educational philosophy. I choose to teach to be part of a solution to help build a more informed and educated community. My choice is to tell a teenager that I believe in him when no one else does. My choice is to remind my students that every day they have a choice to make about their lives and that they have the knowledge and strength to pursue positive futures.

Quote of the Day

I'm teaching hoaxes, scams and how to catch con-artists to my first hour Technology class. This is part of an internet security unit, but I secretly hope that someday they'll realize I've given them the tools to pull off a grand money making scheme and they'll send me some cash.

To open today's lesson, I asked my students to respond to the following quote: "You can't cheat an honest man." I thought it would garner some interesting responses. Of course, I don't know how I'd respond, because I think the quote is tinged with a little b.s.

Then, someone better than I explained to me that this quote is true. He said that an honest man wouldn't want something for nothing and can see the truth.

Yeah, I still don't understand it. I sometimes wonder why this honest man is with me.

But, my favorite thing out of all this was my student Bonnie's response:

"I think that this quote is bull because you can cheat anyone if they're stupid enough to be cheated. I think that this means that if your honest that no one will cheat you. Thats a lie because of the fact that you need to be around honest people to be totally honest. So I think that the quote is a bunch of crap."

'Nuff said.