KTW

I love this man.

I'm marrying this man in December.

Change of Plans

Vegas wedding cancelled, real wedding to be announced (at some point).

I know, I know. You never thought I'd really be writing this post. All those tough girl sentiments spewed forth like last night's vodka created an "I'm never getting married" persona. I confess. I was wrong.

I have found the love of my life. No, I don't have the bling-bling ring, but I'll be sure to let you know when it arrives. In the great words of James Garner, "I'm in love for the last time in my life."

Meth Labs and Bomb Threats

All the lights are on, but nobody is home. It's 1 AM and an eerie glow is climbing over our fence washing the backyard in soft pools of light. I keep expecting to see a face in their backyard, outside our window. But they are all gone.

We watched them on Channel 3 today. They were led away in handcuffs, their slate eyes showing no emotion. Their kids' toys showed traces of PCP, LSD and heroin. Two little boys compromised.

The news showed the line of assault rifles on the front lawn. Bettina and I chat about the clinking sounds we heard every night while sitting under the lemon tree. I wonder what would have happened if the Meth lab exploded.

Or if our school exploded.

The Meth lab bust in the house behind us comes riding the coat-tails of the bomb threat our school received from a deranged student this past Wednesday. He promised to "go Columbine" on us, according to one child. The police were waiting for him.

I think, someday, he will implode.

Currently out of her mind...

I'm taking a quick break from papers, curriculum and producing a school newspaper to say I've officially lost it.

My phone rang just now and I thought it was my friend Lynn from my Masters class. I had just emailed her my cell phone number and told her I wanted to chat about the presentation we have to put together for tonight's class.

I answered the phone and a Lynn-like voice asked to speak with me. My response? "I'm sorry, Michelle is not available as she has completely lost her mind and is going insane."

My IRS tax-advisor responded with, "Well, when she comes back into her mind, could you please tell her that her taxes are ready to be picked up?"

I'll let her know.

And Now, An Excerpt

With only 6 weeks left to go, I must remember the following words I wrote for an assignment for one of my Masters classes:

Good teachers don’t get their evenings, weekends and summers off. They are constantly exploring new ideas to make their curriculum more interesting. They are developing their own mind, continuing their education, and researching their subject matter. They are observing and becoming active in the community where their school is located to gain a greater understanding of their students. They are observing other teachers, school districts and leaders throughout the community in order to integrate the best ideas on how to teach and present into their own styles. They are working with each other and their administration to provide a cohesive, educational experience for the children who depend on them. And, at the core, they are listening to their students and doing everything in their power to help a child grow.

I adopt these beliefs as my educational philosophy. I choose to teach to be part of a solution to help build a more informed and educated community. My choice is to tell a teenager that I believe in him when no one else does. My choice is to remind my students that every day they have a choice to make about their lives and that they have the knowledge and strength to pursue positive futures.

Quote of the Day

I'm teaching hoaxes, scams and how to catch con-artists to my first hour Technology class. This is part of an internet security unit, but I secretly hope that someday they'll realize I've given them the tools to pull off a grand money making scheme and they'll send me some cash.

To open today's lesson, I asked my students to respond to the following quote: "You can't cheat an honest man." I thought it would garner some interesting responses. Of course, I don't know how I'd respond, because I think the quote is tinged with a little b.s.

Then, someone better than I explained to me that this quote is true. He said that an honest man wouldn't want something for nothing and can see the truth.

Yeah, I still don't understand it. I sometimes wonder why this honest man is with me.

But, my favorite thing out of all this was my student Bonnie's response:

"I think that this quote is bull because you can cheat anyone if they're stupid enough to be cheated. I think that this means that if your honest that no one will cheat you. Thats a lie because of the fact that you need to be around honest people to be totally honest. So I think that the quote is a bunch of crap."

'Nuff said.

Water and Destruction

Nun, the Egyptian God of Water and Chaos, has delivered me from teaching today. I think he and Kali were hanging out last night trying to figure out what gift to give to the world this morning. Luckily, their dastardly deed focused on giving some educators a break. Teachers down every corridor sang hallelujiahs praising the remarkable rupture of the school's water main this morning.

So thank you, water gods, no students for me today. I must go grade papers before getting out of this dark classroom to go enjoy the Glendale Hot Air Balloon Fest!

My Best Day

For Bell Work the other day, I asked my students to write about their best day. I asked them to describe the sights, sounds, textures, smells and feelings associated with this experience.

My student Jorge, who usually thinks about his assignments and sucks on his pencil for quite some time before digging in, began writing immediately.

As I wound my way around my room, I looked over shoulders and read scrawled lines about birthdays, 8th grade graduation ceremonies, and days when friends came through at tough times. I wanted to see what Jorge was writing since he looked so intent on his purpose.

He didn't even look up when I took a seat next to him. The first few lines of his short paragraph read:

My best day is today. I got up in a good mood this morning. I don't know what is going to happen today, so that is why today is my best day.

I smiled and Jorge looked up. I asked him to describe his feelings about today to me.

"It feels like hope."

If I had done my own assignment, I would have written about the day I graduated from college. I smelled misty rain and tasted palpable joy. I felt fading youth and sensed responsibility like a monsoon on the horizon. I finally knew myself.

In that moment, I exuded hope. Just as Jorge did today. And I believe I like his answer so much more than my own.

Controversies, Clichés and Contrition: pondering public pronouncements

My mother is the picture of grace. She is bright, balanced, giving and wrote the handbook of good manners. They say the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. In my case, the cliché is wrong.

I’m not graceful. I speak my mind and air dirty laundry. Most of the time, I’m transcendent enough to direct criticisms and witticisms at my own blunders. But I’ve also watched as others made life choices that completely confounded me. And in response, I relentlessly delivered scathing verdicts like a renegade Supreme Court judge. In the land where cruel and unusual punishment is banned, I enjoyed turning some thumbscrews and pouring salt into open wounds. Who doesn’t enjoy a good public hanging?

In a perfect world, that would be a ridiculous, rhetorical question. But, that cliché my mom first taught me – “the pen is mightier than the sword” – rings true. Read any newspaper for current political slanders. Open a tabloid for fresh gossip. Check the internet for the latest misleading headline.

On a much smaller scale, my mother believes that my “PDA” is misplaced. No, I don’t condone “Public Displays of Affection” as acceptable in polite society. For some reason, media blood courses through my veins and I find joy in “Public Disclosure of the Audacious.”

I’ve done this before and I’ve admitted transgression. My mom is so poised – she has yet to tell me that I’m a complete ass. But my penchant for storytelling has earned me another aptly applied cliché from my astute mom: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” Keep writing the slams, keep reaping the snubs.

After all is said and done, commentary is just interpretation and people can’t be pegged by a lone pen. Upon consideration, I think the cliché that is most applicable to a writer’s life is, “If you live by the sword, you die by the sword.” Maybe the real chore lies in figuring out if lugging around four feet of shiny steel for a lifetime is worth the story at the end.

Time Zones

Rarely is the question asked...is it too early for beer?

I mean, really. What is the appropriate time to start drinking beer? Back when I owned OnSite Plumbing, ten o'clock in the morning was acceptable. That was a portent of things to come...

But I grew and changed and became more respectable (really). And I found that once one becomes a responsible adult, the question usually becomes, "When is it too early for a martini?"

I know the answer to that question. It's never too early for a martini. In fact, it should be martini time, all the time. Unless it's margarita time, which for those of you who are curious runs between 4:00pm and 9:00pm. After that it is tequila time. This is usually followed by floor time.

Anyway, I've never found an acceptable answer to when it's too early to start imbibing one's daily allowance of carbo-licious goodness. If anyone knows the answer, I'll be by the pool contemplating this question with a Michelob light in my hand.